Those two things I didn’t get

I am fortunate enough so far to get everything I set my mind to. I don’t want to sound arrogant – it just happens with actually quite a lot of hard work. Unfortunately, there was one thing that I was dreaming about since my childhood while others were dreaming of becoming astronauts, doctors or getting ponies for their birthdays. In my case, however, it was studying at the Greatest of the Greatest University of Cambridge.

There is an enormously sad story behind this as it was actually my biggest dream which meant everything to me and I even thought I wouldn’t be able to live without a degree from that place. There was also another reason for that – the love of my life (I thought so at that time) was studying there. He did Maths or whatever. Well, let’s start getting into some details.

For some reason, I only found out about the deadlines of the application when there were only 5 days left till submitting. I was panicking, didn’t go to school so I could write the best cover letter in the world. I mentioned a lot of stuff that was completely minor and irrelevant but I made it sound like a world changing thing. For example, I spent one hour helping organising an event at school and I managed to write 3 big and powerful sentences about it and even related it to my motivation to study Natural Sciences. I couldn’t sleep, I was asking “The love of my life” tons of questions (it was a good excuse to talk to him as he wasn’t exactly interested in me the way I wanted him to be…). After 100 hours of work (I honestly didn’t sleep or at least I wasn’t aware of sleeping) I have submitted that letter and went straight to bed.

My academic situation wasn’t that great to be honest, my average from all of my school subjects at that time was 90% which in my home country is very good but not extraordinary. Luckily I had other things in my resume to support that application so I wasn’t that worried. I am not sure how many of the readers went through that process but you must know that they send invitations to interviews to people over few days. Obviously, I got my invitation at the last day which caused me enormous stress, sleepless nights and anxiety. I knew I could get in but I thought that I may have written something crazy without having any sleep (I never read that letter after I submitted it and I will never do so). Anyhow, I got my invitation and went to celebrate that alone. It actually happened when I was on that trip to Iran which I described in my previous post.

After I received the invitation, I knew I will get in. I was sure. I already was celebrating getting into Cambridge. Well, unfortunately the situation was quite different in reality. It doesn’t just happen that you go to the interview and get what you want. And it wasn’t the case in this situation. Actually, I did amazingly in my academic interviews where I had to demonstrate my knowledge and analytical thinking. The thing that was wrong, however, was my creativity. Obviously, can’t blame myself for not getting an offer. So, the motivational interview went soooo bad that I couldn’t even describe it in words. I can just give some examples:

– “Why do you want to study at Cambridge?”
– “Because there are a lot of concerts happening in this town, especially at the university”.

– “Why do you want to study Natural Sciences?”

– “Because I want to become a composer in the future and I could use mathematical and physical algorithms and laws to create contemporary music.”


Well, I guess you have an idea why I didn’t really succeed. I don’t even have to write what happened when I got the rejection. I was crying for 24 hours and went to do some community work in animal shelter to forget this tragedy. It didn’t help. Nothing helped. I thought there was no other way in life besides graduating from Cambridge. You know what was the other thing I didn’t get? Obviously, that guy from Cambridge with whom I already had our wedding and graduation planned in that cute university town.

I don’t know why I managed to fail that interview but I think I didn’t lose that much. I would have probably gone crazy there or maybe I would be in academia right now. Who knows. It was a great experience to survive my dreams being crushed.



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